Prayer of the seeking heart


Lord here Iam once again to seek out your Presence. I have set my heart on a collision course with Yours. I have come to the end of my self & I have become the scorn of men because of my desperateness for You. I have become a fool to them for I’m beside my self & out of my mind for the sake of You.

I am thirsty & hungry for You but I’m frustrated for I’m still not thirsty or hungry enough. O Lord make me more desperate for You. Forgive me for losing my focus every now & then. There are so many distractions keeping me from beholding You. There’s so much static that’s keeping me from hearing Your voice more clearly. But all I want is You. How come my actions still contradicts my love for You?

When Lord? When will I come into that which I desire most? When will we be One? When will I stop seeing my self as separate from you? When will I apprehend & realize this most blessed truth that I’m in You & that You are in me? (That we are One.) When will I slip out of the consciousness of self & lose my self in you? When will I walk in the reality of Christ in Me the hope of Glory? O Lord I long for perpetual communion with You.

I have kept Your word at the cost of so much even my life. Even those closest to me are perplexed by this walk of mine. But I have followed Your leading on this road less travelled, the path of the narrow gate. I have chosen this path even though it means rejection, misunderstanding, ridicule, & solitude. All I want is You my Lord! When will You come to me? How much longer must I suffer in the hope of You breaking as the dawn of the new day over my life?

I have these great & exceedingly precious promises from You but I will trade them in an instant without a thought for Your presence on my life & union with You. O Lord I will give anything to love you more. Better is a day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I will gladly live the life of a pauper if I could only possess more of You.

The gold & silver of this world could never satisfy this fool for Christ. You are my treasure in heaven. You are my reward. You are the pearl of great cost for which I sold all that I have. O Lord if You will not come to me & make us One I will have no reason to live. My heart cannot stand the pain of my longing for You. And when I see people wanting to use You to make themselves look important or to get what they want I’m beside my self with anger.

Lord I hate everything that exalts itself again you, I hate everything that distracts from You, I hate everything that tries & substitute You, & I hate everything that opposes You or makes my love for You grow cold. Still Lord I do not love You enough! O Lord grant me the grace to love You the most even in my generation.

Lord nothing compares with You. O Lord I will even forsake the things of You for the love of You. I seek Your Kingdom but I want You more. I receive the calling You have for me but I’d rather be known as a lover of God. I desire Your gifts but I’d rather go without them should they become a distraction. Jesus become more real to me & wean me from every distraction even from those things that’s seen as holy & good.

Open my eyes to a greater glimpse of You. I long to know You…I want to walk with You hand in hand, heart to heart, following even in Your footsteps. I do not care for recognition or the wealth of this world. All I want is to know You face to face. All I need is You. You are my food & drink. I don’t want to be known for what I do for You, for doing great exploits for Your kingdom; I want to be known in heaven as a friend of my Lord.

O Jesus you alone are enthroned in my heart. Come Lord & take up Your rightful place in my life as the King of my heart & life. I long to recline in Your bosom Your most intimate presence. I’m seated at Your feet and I’m hanging on to Your very lips for Your words are the words of life & they are most precious & beautiful. O Lord You are worthy! Forgive me for my wandering heart. O Lord have mercy on me!

If only You would come & possess all of my heart. I am smitten by Your beauty. How long must I still wait on You! Come my Lord & take possession of me for I’m yours & belong to no other. Now Lord come & open my heart, my mind, & my eyes to apprehend more of You so that You may posses more of me. Jesus You alone are real & true, I want nothing else. Knowing You & walking with You is the only vision & purpose I have for my life. Now come to me Lord & let us be One. MAKE ME JUST LIKE YOU!!!

I rest in You, I hope in You, I trust in You, I love You precious King Jesus;
To you be all the glory now & forever;
Your desperate disciple & seeking heart;
Amen.

By Marcus Visser

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